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My mom has Alzheimers and I had to remove her from her living situation with her husband because of the lack of care and ability he had to take care of her. The situation was awful and she was in poor shape. Now that she is in a good home, she is thriving. He, however, doesn't speak to us and wants to move her to his living situation which we know nothing about.
I am my mother's Medical POA. My siblings and I take great care of her and make sure that she gets out and about and loves life which she does. The only time she gets agitated is when he calls or after he visits.
Is there a way to stop him from moving her since she is doing so well mentally and physically?

Probably yes unless there is a poa involved.
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Reply to Sample
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First not sure where you live I live in calif. Here to file for conservatorship a judge will look at the POA medical if there is no reason to change it going to court would be a waste of time and money. As a judge will rule infavor of POA. An advance health care directive (POA) is making health care decisions when mom cannot. Just because she has alz doesn't mean she can't make her own decisions to a point. It does sound like she was willing to go to a facility which is good thing. As far as financial poa sounds like hubby wants her home only because of the cost. If he can show proof that he financial cannot keep her where she is at then that's a different story. Where a POA medical overrides financial poa is you have a right to protect her heath, safety, and wellbeing. If it's unsafe for her to go home don't do it, Unless she wants to go home (right or wrong she has that right) your $$$ poa is just that and he cannot move her without you and mom in agreement. Contact your local ombudsman every county in the USA has an ombudsman and all facilities have a poster with their info. They can assist with info you need. None of us know your family issues. So we base our 2cents on your statement alone. He may be the bad guy only because he married your mom and that is the conflict. Try although by all means not easy to put his needs as well as her. Set aside your differences as that is what will makes you a better POA. Being one sided will only cause more grief and retaliation from others.
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Reply to LoniG1
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check with social worker or case manager at her facility. In some places, your POA will be enough. Other places may require you to file restraining order against him or get POA for her finances as well.
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Reply to Taarna
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The medical POA is different from a Durable POA. Medical POA, give you the right to make medical decisions should the person become incapacitated. The Durable POA, gives you control over finances and other legal matters, depending on which state you are in.
If possible try to get both. Your best bet though is talk to a lawyer in your state.
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Reply to Socialbutterfly
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Thank you all for your feedback. My hope is that we don't need to do anything to cause any of us added stress and things stay the way they are with her in a healthy situation. I appreciate the insights, though, so I can be prepared if need be.
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Reply to Rose88
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It seems there is always a problem with second marriages and step-children of those marriages. DPOA determines who has the say. If no one has this, then decisions revert to the Spouse, my daughter, RN says. Unless the patient has named someone specific on the HIPAA forms. So, if no one holds DPOA or has guardianship, the husband is probably looked at as the one who makes the decisions.

You can stop him from visiting and calling if someone has DPOA. Guardianship is the best thing. It overrides any POA. But its expensive. Does Husband have the mental capacity to do what is needed to transfer her? He will need to make sure there is a bed where he lives. Can he show that she can pay her way privately and if not, can he fill out forms for Medicaid. Give the AL 30 days notice. Set up transportation for her and move all her things.
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Reply to JoAnn29
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If her husband is general POA and is in good mental health he may be in charge.
Your question is for an attorney. You may need to seek a general POA from your mother if she is competent to give that or you may need to get guardianship of her if she is not. If the hubby fights the guardianship he may win.
Good luck.
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Reply to AlvaDeer
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Your Medical POA does not give you the ability to place her. Did you have help from APS to get her placed? How did you guarentee payment? The financial POA has the ability to place her and has control over her assets. Without a FPOA her husband still has rights. Really need more info.

All your medical poa does is make sure Moms wishes concerning her health are carried out. If there is a health crisis not mentioned in the POA, then u make the decision based on what Mom would want.
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Reply to JoAnn29
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Who is her Financial PoA? The FPoA and MPoA often need to be in agreement and work in concert when making decisions such as the one in your Mom's case.

When you say a state assisted living home, do you mean a county Medicaid facility? Is your Mom on Medicaid? Is he? I would prevent this move, and not sure it is even possible if she's not on Medicaid (if I'm reading this situation correctly).

I also agree that if guardianship is the only way to stop this move, I would do so. It's not about "family consent" it's about who has the legal authority to make the decision on your Mom's behalf.
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Reply to Geaton777
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This situation is probably complicated legally, and may need to be resolved by a (very expensive) guardianship application. Why do you “know nothing about” his living situation, which from the sound of it is just a different sort of AL? Perhaps it’s very different from the ‘awful’ situation earlier. There are two ways to read “she gets agitated when he calls or after he visits”. Perhaps she misses him?

If you take this further, you are certainly going to need more information about him and his ‘living situation’, before you can prove that your option will be better. It would be sensible if you could get all the parties together on this, rather than making it an expensive and destructive fight.
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Reply to MargaretMcKen
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Rose88 Aug 14, 2024
Thank you. I appreciate your input.
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