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Has anyone had their parent(s) been scammed by someone impersonating a celebrity? My 82 yo mother is being scammed by a Luke Bryan impersonator. It’s crazy the lengths they will go thru and the BS lies they tell her, she literally thinks she is in a relationship with him. The backstory is “he is getting a divorce and his assets are frozen”, so she thinks she is “helping” him. My sister and I have shown her so many things to prove this isn’t real but she just will NOT believe it. They even set her up GMail email account and my sister traced it to Nigeria.



My dad passed away in 2017, I understand she is lonely. They had been together since he was 16 and she was 13. It’s like she is a love sick smitten teenager with this scammer. The texts are horribly written, bad English, the phone numbers would constantly change, (Google Talk) she now has a “secret” phone to communicate where we don’t see the calls/texts. She is so secretive and they have HER lying to US. There have been many family members and friends to try and talk to her, she’ll agree and claim she knows-to tell us what we want to hear and she’s right back to talking to them AND sending money. This originally started on FaceBook Thru a Luke Bryan Fan Page and a wire transfer that the bank called us (my sis and I are on the account) for approval, due to it being out of character for her. She had a “deed” for property with LB and she was sending $166,000. That was stopped, however they have her sending gift cards, Bitcoins, they have sent her a check to deposit in exchange for a money order, and they now have her taking cash advances on her credit cards to send them. She has even tried going to a different bank and taking out a loan for $13,000. she has money in her savings, but we see every transaction, so now they have become creative. There is a current freeze on her credit because of all of this.



The local sheriffs office has been involved, as well as her bank (thank goodness for small hometowns!), the TBI and FBI have even talked with her. She even signed a letter with the TBI that if she continued monetary transactions that she could be considered a money mule and subject to prosecution, that afternoon she was back to purchasing gift cards.



She lives alone, still drives and does her ADLs, so she is capable of taking care of herself and not incompetent. This seems to be where we run into problems, just because she’s making bad decisions is not a reason to grant guardianship. She and my daddy worked all their lives and it is so disheartening to see her throw it away to these scumbag savages! This has driven a tremendous wedge in our relationship and she thinks I am the “troublemaker” and don’t want her to be happy. She thinks I have turned my (adult) children against her, but they are both upset by her actions, she is not the Nana they once knew. It has consumed me, every day, and makes me angry that she lives in this delusional world, it’s like she lives two lives and is “fake” about who she is, because her lady friends don’t know.



I am at a loss, it seems like every time we talk we end up getting into and argument about it. We used to be close, talk every day and multiple times a day, now it’s like I don’t know this woman any more and I’m grieving her loss even though she is still living.



Tomorrow is never guaranteed, I am 59, we both have a lot less years ahead than we do behind us. Who knows, I may leave this earth before her, but I’m just afraid at this time in her life and the distance we have between us is going to be a lot to bear when she’s no longer here. I don’t want to live with regret. We rarely talk anymore, even though we would text daily, but the last few days I’ve not responded, I have nothing to say and I’m just numb. I feel like, for my own health, I have distanced myself.



I'm sorry for the long post. If anyone has been thru this, please share. Thanks for reading and letting me vent.

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This post is from January. OP has not been back since posted.
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I'm going through this right now with my 76-year-old mother who thinks she is in a relationship with Gerard Butler. She's had several online interactions with other fake Gerards, but this one is good.....too good. They've conversed daily for about four months now through Telegram, which he had her download, but he has yet to ask her for money, gift cards, etc. He told her he cannot call her or video chat her because his agent forbids it. It goes against his contract. He has her convinced that he goes to work, and she sets her alarm for 3am so she can get up and chat with him. He's told her not to trust any others claiming to be him, and the one time she asked for proof, he became angry with her, which upset her so much that she had to be rushed to the ER. She has congestive heart failure, a fib, stage 3 kidney disease, COPD, diabetes, HLD, thyroid disease, and is still obese in spite of losing almost 100lbs being on Ozempic. Last year she went to the ER five times, admitted four times for a week each, and spent two 21-day stints at a nursing rehab facility. We had just gotten her back on her feet when my sister and her husband had to move in with her Jan. of this year, and then my sis' husband was diagnosed with a terminal glioblastoma. Her life has been turned upside down, and in spite of her home being very busy, she is very lonely. We used to video chat several times a day, but now she feels like she doesn't have any privacy, so we chat once a day for about 15 minutes. She tells me all about what her Gerry is up to and gets so mad at me when I tell her he's not the real man. I asked her to tell him to send me a photo, but she said no because he gets angry with her for not trusting him. I'm at my wits end...and if his gaslighting put her in the hospital once for questioning his validity, I dread what will happen the day this person breaks her heart by asking for money. I've read about one case where a woman was conned for over 10 months before the scammer asked for money. I'm scared for my mother. She literally has nothing as it is.
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"because her lady friends don’t know"

Maybe it is time they did. If she won't believe you, would she believe them? Getting them on board my help get her to see the light...well, at least it is worth a try. Peer pressure is a thing, even for seniors.

Also, does anyone have a DPOA for her already? Adding a bank account that is only under your control and then transferring as little as necessary back to her might help. Tackling her money management even more from the fringes by placing even more hurdles to her money might at least slow down the losses.

No idea to help stop the arguments and paranoia though.
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Another participant just posted this (and it may be useful for your Mom as some point):

https://www.truelinkfinancial.com/

It's a pre-paid Visa that caregivers can give to their senior LOs who are not able to manage their spending well and need control and oversight.
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Elizabeth37934 Jan 31, 2024
Thank you very much for this!!
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Please pls pls go onto Reddit and go to the scams subreddit group.
These type of romance scams run rampant. Create an account and do a post and you will get suggestions on how to deal with this emotionally. Or if you’d rather just read and you will find dozens of others that will be exactly what befell your family member and read what others have posted as how to deal with the fall out. There’s a older thread on scammers posting as Hall and Oates separately that is a wild ride of reading… not making light of what has happened to you & yours but it does beg the brain to think that John Oates & Darryl Hall - both! - are at the same time your secret love interests but you can’t let anyone know. Yeah it’s those private eyes you can’t escape them, I guess.

The $ is gone. But the scammer will give her info to others and she will be approached both on line and possibly in person. Will be approached for “recovery” scam. And she will do the recovery scam as it will be a way to get you and the rest of the pesky family off her back and she can show you all you were wrong!

That’s what gets super scary in all this.

I have a friend taken in a very sophisticated pig butchering scam involving Bitcoin & who still has hopes and has fallen for recovery scams.
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Elizabeth37934 Jan 30, 2024
Thank you so much for this information! I will definitely check into your recommendations.
Very interesting about the “recovery” period, I know they go to all lengths. I have heard of the pig butchering. I hate the internet and social media and all the scammers out there!
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Does she have dementia or is this more a “fool and their money” type situation? Your profile only says diabetes and depression.
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Elizabeth37934 Jan 29, 2024
Fool for your money, she has not been diagnosed with dementia.
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You have received a lot of good advice here. I understand that you are somewhat estranged from mom now. But if that situation changes I'm wondering if you might get the opportunity to log into mom's computer where she messages this person and tell him that you are her daughter, you know this is a scam and the FBI is involved.

You may be able to do it from your own device if you can just get his username and /or profile info. I did this one time with one of my kids receiving inappropriate material, and that person vanished instantly when confronted by me.
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Elizabeth37934 Jan 29, 2024
Good advice and have tried that, I have sent some really nasty text messages to them. They change their user names and phone numbers so frequent, blocking info doesn’t do much good, or for long, they WILL find another way to reach her. With the FBI, sadly enough, unless it’s over $100-$200,000 they don’t even get involved. They refer you back to state level, which is TBI in Tennessee. I’ve told them FBI is on to them….they outsmart everyone. It’s sad because they have told her that “we don’t care about her, we just want her money, everything is going to work out, they will see”. It’s just disgusting! She believes a total stranger (Luke Bryan) over her own daughters and grandchildren. That’s how twisted it is and warped they have her mind.
I contacted LB’s attorney in Nashville, personally spoke with him and the firm sent my mother (and copied me) a certified letter, stating he is happily married, is not getting a divorce, he does not speak with his fans, does not know her, and has never spoken with her. She didn’t believe it!! She thinks I’m in cahoots with them and “had them write that letter.”
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Elizabeth, I hope that as this is a Joint Account the bank would not allow any of you to run an overdraft? Everyone named on a Joint Account is severally liable for its debts. I know a lady (in England) whose mother ran a very large overdraft which she, the daughter became liable for when the mother couldn't pay it off.
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Elizabeth37934 Jan 29, 2024
The bank has been wonderful to work with, as mentioned it being a small hometown, there is definitely a lot of personal attention (it’s not a large corporate bank). We have an alert on her account so she can’t go in and get cash (without joint approval) and they will text me and let me know. She feels her privacy is invaded and that I need to mind my own **** business, I told her she was family and is my business. She thinks we are trying to control her and I’ve told her that is so far from the truth, we are just trying to protect her. She has tried to take us off the account. She gets angry and it causes an argument, it’s difficult, very difficult.
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I was waiting for it.......................and there it was.
You tell us "she is not incompetent".
As far as I can see, she then is lost, for any money you cannot protect belongs to the scammers.
Your mother isn't alone.
Her case is so severe that I would consider calling the Dr Phil show, as outrageous as that sounds when I even write it. He has worked with people being taken in with scams for a long time and I am hopeful his staff may be able to provide you with ways to protect at least some of her money.

This, when it happens, is tragic. It is a sort of mental breakdown much like hoarding in which the person simply cannot let go of "their own version of truth" which is a kind of magical thinking.

Contact also AARP which works extensively with scamming.
I wish you luck, but hold almost no hope when things are this severely out of whack.
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NeedHelpWithMom Jan 29, 2024
Alva,

Dr. Phil is no longer on the air. Not that I was ever a fan of the show. I happened to see that he was leaving his television program.

Perhaps she could contact an investigative journalist on another show.
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You say that you and sister are on her account, which I’m assuming means that you’re a joint owners. If that’s true, you should be able to close the account.
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Elizabeth37934 Jan 29, 2024
That is correct, my parents had us both added as joint account holders years ago. She is not using that account any longer for doing large transactions, and I get a text for any transaction over $25.00, she will go to Dollar General, Walmart, Kroger, Dollar Tree, Walgreens, CVS, Lowe’s to get gift cards….I have talked to managers, cashiers and regional directors over these stores and even sent them a pic of her to let them know she is being scammed. In a small town they do watch out for others, many know her-she’s lived there all her life, she was a director of public housing. She is an educated woman, she has just been SO brainwashed. Her bills are paid out of this account and she has even gone to another bank and opened an account, that we don’t want because they will drain her account and we lose track, so there are reasons we can’t just close it.
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..." just because she’s making bad decisions is not a reason to grant guardianship..."

This is exactly the reason to pursue guardianship: she has dementia which robs people of their ability to use reason, logic and good judgment. What she's doing now is giving her money away to scammers so that when she needs it for her own care, there'll be none. She can no longer make decisions in her own best interests. Please pursue guardianship (if you want to help her). Just because she can drive and do her ADLs -- those are physical activities. What if she met some creep at the store and brought him to her house? You should read some of those posts right here on this forum.

You don't have to become her legal representative and manager for her affiars, but please understand this won't go away or get better. Just look at what you've had to go through so far. Take control or go somewhere where you can't see, hear or feel the trainwreck that is happening in slow motion.
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Elizabeth37934 Jan 29, 2024
Wow! That’s what we’ve thought and been told by an attorney. Thank you for reinforcing this advice, I will talk to my sister. We’ve taken her to the Dr and she tells them what she wants them to know, or not.
Can you tell me what I could look up to see some of those stories, I would like to send her some and let her know she’s not alone, it can and does happen. I think she’s afraid of the embarrassment as well. It’s definitely a SLO-MO train wreck!
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My Mom is in a similar situation. She's receiving Facebook Messenger emails from "Keanu Reeves". I feel ridiculous even typing that.
When I previously explained to her that they were fake accounts, she said that she knew it was fake and that she was just having fun. But lately she tells my bother that the Keanu account is real.
She hasn't sent any money and I am not sure if they have asked. But I belieev they are getting close... My brother mentioned that they were asking if they could send her money the other day. That sounds, to me, like a first step to get her banking information.
I've deleted and blocked TONS of the Keanu profiles - but they find her again every single time.
My Mom lives with my brother and stays with me part time. She is typically alone during the work day, unless she is with me (I work from home). She is very lonely, much like your Mom, as she was with my Dad for 50+ years and he passed in 2020. But my Mom also struggles with psychosis, depression, frequent, intense UTIs and several other issues (dementia? we haven't been able to diagnose that yet - but I fear that might be the case).
Like you, I am at a loss as to what to do about the messages on Facebook other than, once again, blocking this most recent guy when I get her this week.
It's frustrating. I'll be following this link HOPING someone might have an answer.
I wish us both luck!
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Geaton777 Jan 29, 2024
peppermintloz, if no one is your Mom's PoA then you and your sibling(s) must decide how involved you wish to be in her care. If she has a PoA, this person needs to read the document and see what triggers the authority for financial decision-making). It is usually 1 or 2 medical diagnoses of cognitive impairment.

Or, if there's no PoA and she won't assign one, then guardianship may be the only option. If "someone" doesn't control where her money is wrongfully going, please know the scammers won't stop until she's 100% drained and she'll never get a penny of it back. Time to make a decision whether or not to take action: the scammers will act fast so you need to decide asap.
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This sounds like a variation of the romance scam and unfortunately many people of all ages fall victim to these fraudsters. Perhaps something from this article can help you

https://www.aarp.org/money/scams-fraud/info-2023/romance-and-crypto-schemes-combined.html
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Elizabeth37934 Jan 30, 2024
Thank you for the information!!
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This is so just so sad that your mother is that gullible and this situation has destroyed your relationship with her. I also think that someone who has been warned by the FBI about this and refuses to understand the seriousness of the situation has some sort of cognitive issues.

You need to inform your mother not to expect you to bail her out financially when she has exhausted her money. I don't have any other advice.
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Elizabeth37934 Jan 30, 2024
Thanks so much for your reply! And I totally agree!
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I’m so sorry that this is happening. It’s disgusting that people scam the elderly.

Is the fake FB page still up? No telling how many people they have scammed.

Does your mom have dementia? It seems like she wouldn’t still be purchasing gift cards after the FBI have spoken to her. These scammers truly brainwashed her.

I have listened to a podcast that AARP does on scammers. It’s incredible how many people become victims. The name of the podcast is, The Perfect Scam.

There are 15 seasons on this podcast. This shows how common scams are. Maybe you can pick up some useful information.

Good luck with resolving this issue.
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Elizabeth37934 Jan 30, 2024
Thanks for your reply! Yes it is disgusting and the FB page is still up, there are actually multiple fan pages for him and they are all a ploy. I really believe FB needs a revamp of identity authentication. There are so many fake accounts out there, stolen photo, etc. Many of the fan pages have been inundated with scammers. I appreciate the podcast information, I will definitely listen to that!
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