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Mom has been getting weaker since February. In May, she could only bear some weight on her legs, but eventually fell and broke a leg. She is now bedridden and will most likely not regain strength. She still speaks, but is increasingly confused and frustrated.


I feel awful leaving her in bed for the remainder of her life, but moving her would require 2-3 people and a Hoyer lift. The doctor commended us on trying to keep her with us in the main living area. He said most people give up. This was said before the broken leg. Now I’m thinking she’ll be there forever.


Should we risk moving her just to keep her with us or let her stay in her room? She’s afraid and bored and wants to get up. She is later stage, but still speaking, though delusional and jumbled.

Have you also considered hiring an in-home caregiver who can get your mother up, showered/groomed, dressed, out of bed and into a wheelchair? The caregiver can also provide companionship for mother.. A caregiver would also make life easier for you.
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Reply to LostinPlace
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When my late husband became bedridden, I had hospice put the hospital bed in our living room so he still could be around where the action was, and I could keep a closer eye on him from other rooms as well.
He lived completely bedridden for the last 22 months of his life in a hospital bed in our living room.
So I guess I would suggest putting your mom somewhere closer to where the action is in your house, so she doesn't feel left out of things.
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Reply to funkygrandma59
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Sarahk60 Jul 7, 2024
I’m sorry for your loss. This is all so difficult. Yes, I like the idea of her being in the living room, but I’m thinking it would be too open feeling for her at night. It’s a two story house, so she’d be in the open area alone .
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Don't underestimate someone with dementia who seems immobile. My 100-yr old Aunt with advanced dementia could only walk using a walker AND being held up with a belt. Then one night she inexplicably manuevered past the bed barriers we had set up to protect her, fell on the carpeted floor and broke her hip. In rehab she continued to try to get out of the bed. She passed before I could fine placement in a facility for her.

What ever you end up doing, it may make sense to get her a bed that raises and lowers. I wish we had thought of that for my Aunt.
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Reply to Geaton777
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Sarahk60 Jul 7, 2024
Oh, goodness! My mom used to wiggle to the edge, but never fell out, thank goodness. How scary. Yes, we have a hospital bed, so we can adjust it.
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When my Husband became bedridden I moved his Hospital bed into the kitchen area. He had windows he could look out into the back yard, French Doors I could open. And he was still part of the "action" during the day. Caregivers were here when I wasn't and we could talk to him (he was non verbal so did not respond but just having activity I think helped)
So if it is possible move her bed to a room where most people will gather.
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Reply to Grandma1954
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Sarahk60 Jul 7, 2024
I love this idea. We’ll have to figure it out. We live in a two story, so I’m not sure she’d like to be in the open area alone at night.
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