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From past experience (decades ago), I’d say YES, legally you are responsible for his debts! You MUST consult an attorney sooner rather than later & make the proper legal steps.
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Children are not responsible for their parents debts. If there are filial laws in their state, maybe the cost of their care but then I would think their ability to pay would be considered.
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disgustedtoo Sep 2019
This is the wife, not the children.
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You really need to consult with a lawyer in your state. Please contact your Area Agency on Aging (AAA) and see if they can recommend a lawyer that will discuss you situation for free. There are free legal clinics where attorneys donate time to provide legal services to low income seniors and many attorneys will provide an hour or so consultation free with legal fees only needed if you hire him to take some action.

Laws differ greatly between states. I have some understanding of the TN laws acquired while handling/settling my parents affairs. Dad had vascular dementia and made some poor financial decisions while married and prior to being declared incompetent. Here in TN, property you inherited from your family, even after a marriage, is yours alone. In order for your husband to have any claim, he (or in this case his creditors) would need to prove he invested significant resources (labor and/or money) in improving the property. I assume you have been living in your inherited property at least since the separation so there should not be much of a claim or risk to keeping that property if your lived in TN.

In TN, debts can be separated between individuals even for married couples: there is his debt, her debt, and our debt. Unsecured debt, like credit cards or signature loans, are his responsibility alone provided you did not also sign the loan documents. Secured debt, like a car loan, are his responsibility too. His personal debts, like back rent, are his responsibility here in TN too. Fortunately a lot of my parents remaining resources were in real estate titled as joints tenants in the entirety and my mother never signed any loan documents so the proceeds from selling that property was not subject to creditor claims for my father's unsecured debt. It was a little harder to keep non-titled assets clear from Dad's unsecured debts but most decided to settle when they realized Dad was in MC and I was using the using the guardianship court judge to get rulings favorable to my mother. I paid the bills for services (like a dentist) from available funds but didn't have any problems letting the credit card companies take their licks. Who loans an 80 year old man more than twice his annual income?

Your venerability here in TN would be limited to loans where you signed the loan documents and/or put up something for security.

Even if you are not legally responsible for the debt, creditors will try to collect from you. This is where having an attorney to direct them to contact can be a great help. As Dad's guardian, I ignored phone calls by setting my android phone to send all calls from any number not in my contacts to voice mail. When contacted by mail, I took the letters to the lawyer's office and let him respond. He charged $100 a letter but it was well worth it considering the credit card companies backed off from trying to collect thousands.
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Marriage is a financial contract. I have read here that most people advise getting a divorce now. FYI - I have a family member who was able to file all the divorce papers herself, but I think it still cost some money. Even so, a divorce now may not solve everything - all depending on current laws in your state(s). I know a woman who was sued (in the 1980's) by owners of a house that she and her ex husband sold 15 years earlier - around the time of their divorce. The law suit was over the placement of the well, which unknowingly was actually located on somebody else's property. They couldn't find the out-of-state ex-husband, so they went after her. There are no guarantees - but I would definitely get legal advice. People have suggested sources for free legal advice, which is a good place to start.
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disgustedtoo Sep 2019
Wow, that's just so wrong. Never mind the time lapse, but everything should have been discovered by their attorney and/or the loan company doing deed checking. Often when something is not on one's own property, there are easements (sometimes land ownership/changes can result in this - some properties I checked out had easements for access, as the property was not accessible to the road without this!) Buyers should not be allowed to look back to the sellers after that amount of time! Plus, why did it suddenly become an issue - were they selling and the buyer's lawyer/bank discovered this???
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You need to ask an atty in your state. Basically you are the next of kin who would have to make decisions for medical and funeral. May very well be held responsible for debt. Attorney now.
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My father was in a nursing home and died. Sister was only paying a little a month on his bills. Lawyer came after me. I think they can come after you because you are still legally married. You need a divorce asap or you could be contacted as next of kin to pay up. You could be responsible if he is found in a neglected physical state too.
I wouldnt sit around waiting for someone out of the blue to present you with a bill. It might be a lot harder now if he is incompetent. Do you think he would sign divorce papers if sent to him? I dont know, but you say he is neglecting other bills. I wouldnt wait to see what happens. Good luck
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My husband and I have been legally separated in New York State since 2000. Due to our particular circumstances, my attorney advised me that it would be more economically feasible to pursue a legal separation that absolves me of all financial responsibility for my husband's actions and also relinquishes his claims to any spousal rights pertaining to any of my finances, e.g., pensions, 401Ks, investments, annuities, savings/checking accounts, property, etc. The attorney also indicated that after a separation agreement period of one year, there would be no question in the court's judgment whether or not to grant the divorce.

I paid for the legal separation; however, as the agreement covered all of the concerns I had and because I did not foresee the likelihood of remarriage at any time in my immediate future, I did not pursue the final divorce as that cost would have fallen to me as well. My husband has not remarried either. Therefore, to my way of thinking, if he wants the divorce, he can pay for it. If I should choose to remarry, then I will reconsider my position.

As others here are advising, I agree that you must see a lawyer ASAP in YOUR state to determine how best to protect your interests. I wish you well.
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I can tell you that I handled (handle) my stepmother and father's financial affairs after she died, in IL. He was only responsible for debts where he was a co-signor. If a credit card or car or whatever was only in her name, he was not responsible. It may depend on if you are in a "community property" state, in which case I understand you would be held accountable. Where do you live? I agree, get a lawyer asap.
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Asking us this type of question will get you maybe some right answers and also wrong answers. The right answer is to call a lawyer, spend a half hour with him/her and ask the same question.
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You need to see an atty asap to find out your rights and obligations. I assume you have lived in separate residences for the past 25 yrs. If you share credit cards and both your names are on accounts, yes you as his legal widow would be responsible. However, get an atty. as soon as you can in order to protect yourself.
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If you hold anything at all jointly, such as bank accounts, mortgage, or credit cards, then yes, you would be legally responsible for any debts he incurred on those joint items.

Why on earth have you not gotten legally divorced if you have been separated for 25 years?
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I think it has already been said. Unless your name is on the account in some way, you are not responsible for the debt. Even if you are still married. When my wife died, I notified some of her debt holders of her death and offered to send a copy of the death certificate. But if there are any questions, I would see a lawyer in your state about the matter. And I would also get the divorce done before he dies. That would free you from any responsibility.
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You'll only be held responsible if your name is on any accounts. But you may want to retain an elder law attorney.
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The wisest thing to do is to consult an attorney in the specific state/jurisdiction where you live. Area Council on Aging should be able to give you some advice on finding help. Family law? Elder law? They should know the kind of attorney you should see and may be able to help you find legal aid at a reasonable cost.

You might or might not have a problem here with husband's debts - you really need to know where you stand and what if anything you need to do to protect yourself. And knowing where you stand can give you clout if you have to deal with collection agencies later on. Ignorance could really cost you.
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