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I have had to take my mom, 85 with dementia, to the doctor from time to time (including twice this week). It causes anxiety for her and for me. Not only does she deny symptoms, but she is combative and disruptive. I don’t remember seeing other patients with obvious dementia in the office. Are there any alternatives, perhaps palliative care?

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What specifically are you seeing the doctor for?

Do you use a portal on your phone? You can message your doctor about your concerns.

If you do use a portal, start there and see if you can bypass an actual office visit.

Your doctor or nurse will message you back and let you know what to do and if they need you to bring your mom into the office.

Or simply call and ask to speak with the doctor or nurse. They usually won’t get back to you until the end of the day.
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Perhaps home visits or video / virtual visits ?
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2 visits in a week is probably 2 too many. With my 81yo mom, I have cut waaay back on her doctor's visits. Some docs wanted to see her every 3 months and I have started says absolutely not. Once a year, unless there is an issue that needs addressing. I try to handle things through the online portal, when possible.

Sooo, what are these visits? How necessary are they? What are you expecting them to do? I think shifting to palliative care is a great idea but I'm not sure exactly how much it will help.

How advanced is her dementia? Does she live with you? If her dementia or other maladies are bad enough, you could consider a hospice eval. That's what I would do and plan on doing when/if my mom declines enough to be considered for it.

Best of luck.
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Regarding Mom’s 2 doctor visits, this is an unusual time. She has bronchitis this week, which wasn’t caught/hadn’t developed yet on Monday, but by Friday her breathing was loud and wheezy. She needed to have her lungs listened to and an X-ray. She is on anxiety meds and is normally pretty content but the office visits are very difficult. I communicate with her provider on the portal whenever possible. I guess I’m looking for a way to have a nurse come to the house, for example.
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I would call the Nurse's line to ask your LO's doctor to request a home visit. They won't be able to confirm anything with an xray but they'd be able to get her other vitals and hopefully prescribe an antibiotic. She may have pneumonia, not bronchitis.
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Geaton777 Mar 2, 2024
correction: "...without an xray..."
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It's hard for us to give helpful suggestions without knowing what she's being taken to the doctor for twice a week... is she profoundly ill? Is her anxiety being treated with medication? If not, why not?
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