Follow
Share

My husband who is at about stage 5 Alzheimer’s is experiencing significant behavior issues. He’s not wandering yet but it’s like he’s 5 years old most of the time. He talks in a child’s voice, makes crazy faces and plays like a kid. Nothing harmful yet, just constant and a little annoying. Anyone experience this and have any suggestions on dealing with this?

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
While you can enjoy playing games that he wants to play.
Give him some tasks to do that he can accomplish. (pairing socks, folding towels, hanging clothes on a hangar if he can do that. Come meal time he can help set the table, clear the table, load the dishwasher or wash dishes. Be careful of sharp knives and heavy glassware like casserole pans)
Like a lot of other things with dementia this phase may pass and believe it or not you may miss it.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Thank you everyone. Very helpful information.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Although it is strange to us, it is normal dementia behavior. Enjoy his good behavior before he changes! The bad behavior is much worse!!
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

True, this is really a mild benign stage, it could be so much worse. Maybe try to relax and enjoy the fact that he’s happy right now (if he is - tantrums are a whole different ballgame).

Remember, this is a destroying disease, the next steps progressively get worse. Some still may be ok moodwise (but maybe he stops talking or doesn’t recognize you), but another’s dementia leads them down a dark path. You may not be able to handle those stages at your home.

I got through it with a sense of humor, because that was my husband’s and Papa’s favorite thing - even though it just about did me in some days.

Whatever it takes - a long shower, a glass or two of wine, a long talk with a friend, screaming into a pillow, a mild antidepressant, a nap when he naps, whatever. These are not normal times, so chuck normal duties out the window if you need to.

Sending a huge bear hug to you, be sure to come back. Everyone who’s already been through it can be a great help!
Helpful Answer (0)
Report
Jsaada5757 Jan 2023
Thank you so much! Very helpful!
(0)
Report
Jsaada5757: Perhaps you can garner information by reading the book, The 36 Hour Day.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report
Jsaada5757 Jan 2023
Thanks, I have read it.
(1)
Report
See 1 more reply
Turn on PBS children's programs and make him some popcorn.
Helpful Answer (4)
Report

Normal for dementia … he may get very rough at some point … my mother tore a door off its hinges … and tipped over a wheel chair and ran around with no clothes on!! When it came time to sleep she kay down wherever she was!! Ny advice … play like a child with him … no expectations . .. and you will need help!!!
Helpful Answer (4)
Report

Go to TEEPA SNOW's website. She is one of the country's leading experts on dementia and has many on-line webinars, free YouTubes, etc. It is a wealth of information on how another / a loved one / can communicate with a person inflicted with dementia. I feel the short answer is: you observe and be with the person where they are. It isn't a matter of changing a person as their brain has / is changing. All you can do is 'hold their hand' and / or somehow let them know they are loved. Voice / tone / touch all matter. And, it is now often the only way to 'get in there' - to connect. Gena / Touch Matters
Helpful Answer (4)
Report

What popped into my mind was to get him some legos and let him build something. Maybe a puzzle that you could work with him.
Helpful Answer (4)
Report
Luta65 Nov 2022
@southiebella,

Great idea, but with ALZ and dementia, one has to be cautious about choking hazards!
(2)
Report
See 1 more reply
Find some balance for your day and the unending expectations of
" caregiving". Perhaps have your husband attend some type of day program like ARK or other adult day programs for dementia patients. This will give you a break.

As far as what to do , as long as he is safe, you can choose to simply smile and continue what you are doing or you can choose to engage with him where he is at the moment . It is a tough call sometime, but frankly sometimes letting them ' be in their world/ space' ( as long as safe) does not necessarily mean that you have to also act like a child and enter into it with him. You can simply beca presence of affirmation being sure he is safe .

Speak with folks at ARK or other related dementia care specialists for best practices.

Practice good self care for you to help avoid " caregiver exhaustion".
Helpful Answer (1)
Report
Jsaada5757 Jan 2023
Thank you.
(0)
Report
Has he said ..."went boom boom"?
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Laugh and humour him.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

When he acts like a child, treat him like one. How as an adult would you respons to a child who was being playful? Or misbehaving? Or scared?
You have a parent/child relationship now and you're the parent. Yes, it is a bit annoying now and it would be a good time to start sending him to adult daycare if you don't already. You have to have respite from caregiving. When people don't, a bit annoying turns to anger, rage, and abuse.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report
TouchMatters Nov 2022
I feel it isn't a matter of 'treating' anyone like a child. It is meeting a person where they are in their own world. Being present, letting them know that someone out here is (wants to) connect/ing with them inside their world. With my client, I often nod in agreement, say "ok" - acknowledge her in some way so she knows I am listening and there for her 100%. She only speaks jibberish non-sensical). Sometimes I hold her hand. Give her compliments (she does understand these which is interesting ... tells me that some of how I respond VERBALLY gets in; the difference is what / how she responds 'back' to me - how it comes out. Gena
P.S. I appreciate all your responses / feedback to us. Are you still Burnt? I hope you've recovered.
(5)
Report
Play with him. Interact with him in his reality. Keep him safe and healthy and love him.
Helpful Answer (8)
Report
TouchMatters Nov 2022
Yes. Short, clear, and insightful.
Thank you.

Gena / Touch Matters
(1)
Report
Yes it can be unsettling to see your husband acting like this. But it could be worse. At least he's not hypersexual like some get. It is fascinating to see how the human brain has so many buttons that when pushed result in personality changes. Alzheimer's is like a button that accesses different layers of the brain.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report
TouchMatters Nov 2022
Its brain chemistry changing. Some cells die. It isn't that buttons are pushed. Although I understand what you mean. Dementia, in general, affects different parts of the brain, not just Alzheimer's. I urge everyone here to read TEEPA SNOW's website. It is invaluable information. I studied on-line webinars with her for two years. And, I still learn from her emails - free tid bids of jewels (information on how to communicate / interact with loved ones inflicted with dementia).
(1)
Report
Lots of patience . Very good advice here it is normal for them to become child like .
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

Embrace that child, play with them, give them love and joy. Focus on his needs. You will frustrate yourself trying to change it or letting it get to you. From their perspective, you are different as well. It amazes me my Mom's resilience to have dealt with so many new faces, as I was often "a good friend".

You will need support in this. It is hard to see a loved one, much less your spouse, go through this. Sounds like you will soon need physical caregiving help as well. God bless you!
Helpful Answer (5)
Report
sp19690 Nov 2022
Yeah but it's gross and weird to see a grown adult acting like a child. It's not fun or cute just unsettling.
(3)
Report
See 1 more reply
Coloring and arts and crafts were very popular in my mom's MC.
Helpful Answer (4)
Report
Babs75 Nov 2022
My dad loves the arts and crafts and colors beautifully! He does some great stuff.
(0)
Report
I say to keep it simple, silly, or KISS. This disease will only get worse and loved one should be placed into a facility for best care.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

Its part of the Dementia. I believe as the brain dies they revert back to childhood. Long term memory goes too.
Helpful Answer (4)
Report

Get him some really great toys for Christmas.
Helpful Answer (5)
Report
Katefalc Nov 2022
can you even imagine how this person must feel? My husband knew “ something is wrong” “ am I losing my mind? Having a nervous breakdown? I don’t want to become a VEGETABLE!” It’s far from a joking matter when you or a loved one is suffering. 💔
(3)
Report
You deal with it just like you do with any of the other symptoms of dementia, and that is one day at a time and often one minute at a time.
As with all the stages, they typically don't last long before another step down is taken, so I would say to try and be grateful that he's at least not violent, angry, aggressive or wandering(yet.)
And make sure that you're taking good care of yourself and getting out and about doing fun things that you enjoy without your husband. And if possible, find a local caregivers support group that you can unload with and find people that understand exactly what you're going through, and will be there to support you on this journey that will only continue to get worse.
Best wishes.
Helpful Answer (8)
Report
Jsaada5757 Jan 2023
Thanks
(0)
Report
Dementia and/or dementia-like behavior can be extremely difficult & frustrating to deal with, that's for CERTAIN! It's important for you to realize that DH is now limited in what he's capable of doing & is not intentionally trying to act like a child. He may not get much worse than this, nobody can say.

I suggest you read this 33 page booklet (which is a free download) which has THE best information ever about managing dementia and what to expect with an elder who's been diagnosed with it.

Understanding the Dementia Experience, by Jennifer Ghent-Fuller 
https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/210580

Jennifer is a nurse who worked for many years as an educator and counsellor for people with dementia and their families, as well as others in caring roles. She addresses the emotional and grief issues in the contexts in which they arise for families living with dementia.

The full copy of her book is available here:
https://www.amazon.com/Thoughtful-Dementia-Care-Understanding-Experience/dp/B09WN439CC/ref=sr_1_2?crid=2E7WWE9X5UFXR&keywords=jennifer+ghent+fuller+books&qid=1657468364&sprefix=jennifer+ghent%2Caps%2C631&sr=8-2

She also has published a workbook entitled, “It Isn’t Common Sense: Interacting with People Who Have Memory Loss Due to Dementia.”

https://www.amazon.com/Isnt-Common-Sense-Interacting-Dementia/dp/1481995995/ref=sr_1_4?crid=2E7WWE9X5UFXR&keywords=jennifer+ghent+fuller+books&qid=1657468655&sprefix=jennifer+ghent%2Caps%2C631&sr=8-4

Here is a list of useful tips from her e-book I found to be excellent:

The “Dont's”
· Do not reason and argue
· Do not demand that they reason or problem-solve
· Do not demand that they remember
· Do not demand that they get their facts straight
· Do not correct their ideas or scold them
· Do not reorient them
· Do not think that they are being uncooperative on purpose
· Do not think that they really do remember, but are pretending not to
· Do not use a “bossy” dictatorial attitude in care
· Do not act with impatience

The Do's
· Enter into their frame of reality, or their 'world'
· Be aware of their mood or state of mind
· Use few words and simple phrases
· OR use no words, just friendly gestures and simple motions
· Do everything slowly
· Approach from the front
· Wait for a slow response
· Constantly reassure them that everything is 'OK'
· Keep people with dementia comfortable 'in the moment' - every moment
· Maximize use of remaining abilities
· Limit TV or radio programs which they may feel are frighteningly real
· Maintain privacy
· Provide a safe physical environment

Language Needs
· Use short words
· Use clear and simple sentences
· Speak slowly and calmly
· Questions should ask for a “yes” or “no” answer
· Talk about one thing at a time
· Talk about concrete things; not abstract ideas
· Use common phrases
· Always say what you are doing
· If they repeat their question, repeat your answer as you did the first time · Give them a longer time to process information
· Wait patiently for a response
· Be accepting of inappropriate answers and nonsense words
· Speak softly, soothingly and gently

Care Needs
· Recognize that receiving personal care feels intrusive
· Reassure with your tone and manner
· Do one thing at a time
· Talk through the care “play-by- play”
· Be aware of your body language and use it to communicate relaxation and reassurance
· Be sincere
· Use a soft, soothing touch
· Be aware of the individual’s unique triggers
· Be aware that a person with dementia may not accurately judge whether a situation is threatening to them
· They may respond to fear, pain or anxiety by defending themselves with what we call “aggression”
· If they become distressed, stop immediately and allow them time to calm down – don’t try to restart the activity right away
You need to change your behaviour to adapt to the dementia because the person with the disease cannot.

Wishing you the best of luck with a difficult situation.
Helpful Answer (12)
Report
cinzim281 Nov 2022
Beautifully written & very informative. TY
(2)
Report
See 1 more reply
Nothing you can do to stop it. Unfortunately, it is part of his disease. If you cannot tolerate and ignore it, you should start facility shopping. It will get worse, much worse.
Helpful Answer (5)
Report

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Ask a Question
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter