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This is not an open invitation to agree or disagree. I'm just wondering if others still face ongoing criticism of your choices no matter the side you are on.


A person with Parkinson’s (and elderly in general) can be very high risk for pneumonia because their ability to produce a deep cough can be limited. Because of this I continue to be protective of my husband.


Even before COVID we did not go to church when flu risk was high, only took him into stores during the slow hours and used Walmart grocery pickup when they were the only ones offering it. Now I am extremely thankful to have our church by streaming video and have even more pickup or delivery shopping options.


Now that most people have relaxed their personal guard against COVID I have received “encouragement” that I should do the same. I CHOOSE to wear a mask in public groups (even outside), I avoid groups unless necessary, I try to keep my distance when possible, I ask repairmen and caregivers to wear a mask when entering my home, etc.


Is it inconvenient? YES. However, I keep trying to explain that I will be the one to pay the consequences if either one of us get even just a cold. Being a caregiver is hard enough without having a stuffy head, etc. Others can go to bed and sleep it off when they feel bad but not a 24/7 caregiver. He is very little help for me or himself when I have a down day. Should we both get sick at the same time I honestly don’t know how we would fare. Yes, others would offer to help but I’m sure there would be no one able to step in and replace me. The VA gives me 14 hours of caregiver assistance a week. If used at one time, that is not even one 24 hour period.


The experiences we have had with previous hospitalizations tells me that we definitely don’t want to have another. If it is the caregiver who is hospitalized, there is the added stress not knowing who or how their loved one is being cared for back at home.


Yes, I do have faith in God that he is in control and whatever happens He will carry me through. However, I don’t feel it gives me the freedom to throw caution to the wind . For me, following basic COVID protocol is a lot easier to minimize the risks.

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You do not need to explain your choices about wearing a mask to ANYONE.

I see people with masks still in many locations. I would never say a word to them about it. You don't know what their general health is, or if they're caring for a LO who is high risk. In fact, it's none of our business.

You do what feels right for you. You owe no one an explanation for your masking up. I see many people still masking, and after having the Omicron variant a month ago and STILL being sick---I wish whomever had it, HAD masked up. I nearly died. DH caught it in the airport, I imagine. He said about half the people there wore masks.

It's become so common. Why is it even an issue anymore?

And yes, as DH's main CG, when we were both super sick, I was completely unable to care for him. I don't even know if he ate for 2 weeks. Our daughters ordered food delivery for us and cared for us 'remotely'.
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I have a slightly different perspective.   I think that any inconvenience of wearing a mask is negligible compared to what people in other countries are experiencing for  a variety of reasons. 

I consider myself very fortunate to have been born in America, and even more fortunate that I haven't had to experience or endure some of the horrors of people in other countries.   The decisions made by my grandparents back in the early 1900s are responsible for the security I can experience today.

I won't ever forget the lines of Afghanis waiting to get on flights to evacuate them to America.   Nor will I forget the agony of what the Ukrainians have experienced, especially those who had to sequester and hide in basements, w/o water or food, while Russian troops destroy their country.

I could add more situations, including some of the less stable South American and African nations, or those countries with repressive regimes and limited freedom.

What could possibly be as inconvenient as those mandatory sacrifices of freedom as those imposed by unstable rulers?  

KPWCSC, I'm not criticizing you, just trying to offer a different perspective.  We Americans sometimes don't realize how fortunate we are.  And I do think, and thank you for the precautions you're taking.   I too still mask and avoid crowds.
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My father gives me grief for wearing a mask.
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"Now that most people have relaxed their personal guard against COVID I have received “encouragement” that I should do the same." Who from? Anyone who matters?

I wear a mask in my own time if I'm going anywhere crowded or poorly ventilated.

We're still wearing them at work. Some clients are asking us to take them off to hear us better, but it's easy enough to say no; and it's still the case that more clients (very sweetly) ask if we want them to put one on, bless 'em (there's no need, we wear them for clients' benefit more than our own).
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JoAnn29 Jun 2022
Actually, those masks are awful for the hard of hearing or those (like my husband) who read lips. They muffle and distort words. I have a hard time understanding people and can hear very well.
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No, I am no longer in the slightest frustrated.
I think we should all do exactly as we please as regards all this, and take the risks we choose and pay the consequences thereof. I give this no thought whatsoever anymore. Not worth my time or my trouble. Just got my 4th shot. I mask up where I please, and I don't give a single thought to others and their choices in this matter. Living my life to the fullest, sometimes masked (hey, they hide wrinkles) and when not in public, not.
It has become too divisive to bring up. I make my own choices and I live by them/with them. I am good with others making the choice they feel best for themselves.
Frankly, at this point, with all the information out there, I think our choices are somewhat Darwinian, and I can almost enjoy that. But then I am of a somewhat perverse nature and think us overpopulated anyway.
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sp19690 Jun 2022
Darwinian says the person on their 4th shot. And unlike you I get no perverse pleasure in mentioning this irony.
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Since my mother died I am little looser with my personal protection; the young children coming in my home being my biggest risk. I did get omicron from the children but had a mild case due to my vaccination.

I do get tired of people criticizing others who choose to wear masks - I would probably be one of them and keeping the kids outside on the enclosed porch if my mother still lived.

I am really tired of hearing all the anti-vax bs when there are now literally mountains of data showing the good of the vaccines outweighs the side effects for most people and the lack of respect (and mandates) trying to force vaccination.

I absolutely hate watching my niece-in law's 11 year old niece being short of breath and lacking normal stamina at the splash pad this week because her lungs were damaged by covid.

I dislike the damage to my nephew's marriage because he decided to vaccinate his son without telling the mother who vehemently opposes vaccination. Everone in our family who got omicron and was vaccinated had a mild case and recovered quickly. Two of the three individuals who were not vaccinated ended up hospitalized and the little girl has continuing problems. Its difficult not to feel her custodial aunt let her down.

I am tired of people thinking they have the right to comment to strangers about their choices. Leave people alone to live and die by their choices. We know enough now (if we want to) to choose our risk level; let the people who are extra cautious alone!
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Yes. My husband and I have disagreeing opinions on COVID.

His narcissistic sibling "Karen" doesn't care how anyone feels or believes. She just pops up like a broken jack-in-the-box with her incessant drama bringing whose ever children over, regardless of what her mother's Dr. says or what we tell her.

So, yes, the COVID debate... it's still out there.

I have to get MIL her booster.
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reallyfedup Jun 2022
Louise4, you didn't ask me and I do love to poke my nose in and throw around advice. But there is really no reason not to hustle potentially infective people out the door and then shut it. They won't like it. They'll pitch a fit. They'll be impossible. But I would rather a Karen not get her way than have my MIL on a vent.
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KPWCSC, my husband and I are in almost the exact same situation as you-Parkinson's (him) and caregiver (me). Husband has had pnuemonia twice, but not since Covid. We're still being very vigilant, and I mask whenever in any public indoor space. Husband almost never goes out except for medical appointments, but that's related as much to his mobility as it is to Covid. Home health aides, who we have 3 days a week, always mask. We've had a few tradespeople in, e.g., furnace repair guy, who didn't mask and I didn't ask them to, but I kept windows and doors open when they were here and also have a heavy duty air purifier. We have close family members who chose not to vaccinate, and we've barely seen them since Covid--just outdoors, or indoors with masks and ventilation for short visits. One of our daughters with elementary school-age kids always masks when visiting us, as do the kids, except when eating. Their whole family is vaccinated and boosted. We haven't had any pressure about relaxing masking from anyone we know, but both our daughters, who are very careful, say they have encountered such pressure, as have their kids. I just don't understand why people who choose not to mask feel they should pressure those who are continuing to mask--perhaps it's a turnabout from the time of mandatory mask mandates when they were pressured to wear masks and there was enforcement of the regulations. "Don't tread on me" [but I feel free to try to tread on you].
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KPWCSC Jun 2022
Thanks, see my response to MissyE on 6/7.
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Excellent piece! We have to do what is best for our circumstances. However, it would be nice if others gave a care.
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KPWCSC Jun 2022
Exactly what I intended to show. Thanks, see my response to MissyE on 6/7.
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KPWCSC, I gave up last year debating Covid as I found it was just a waste of time. I have to stop and think, is this worth an argument with all the emotions?

I still wear a mask when entering a business establishment, don't want to take any chances at my age.

There are folks who have found wearing a mask during seasonal allergies has been very helpful to them. Seen a few wearing masks while mowing the lawn.
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I divide my time between two communities. I find in each people are very accepting of individuals choices around mask wearing, social distancing and more.

I choose to wear my mask when I go into stores, big and small. But I am also comfortable going for a meal inside a restaurant, where of course I have to take my mask off, but I wear it to the table and until I have ordered my food.

Oh I guess I should have said the mask mandate was dropped here a couple months ago.

Having said all that I know more people within my social/work/networking/family groups who have had Covid since January of this year than had it before. Even those who are full vaccinated are getting quite ill, but not requiring medical intervention.

I choose to be fully vaxxed and have had all three jabs offered where I live.

I hugged a friend yesterday. Boy did that feel good. I live alone, so the lack of physical contact has taken its toll on me.
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You understandably don't want to invite commenters here to agree or disagree, but I don't mind at all.

My father was 92 when COVID took off. He has diabetes and chronic lymphocytic leukemia. Luckily neither really bothers him that much. But he is very old and immune-compromised.

You bet I protected him. Like a Tasmanian Devil on a bad hair day. No one got in his house without a mask. I had a box of N95s by the front door so no one had an excuse. No one came into his house without me being there to make sure they were wearing a mask and staying six feet away from him. This meant that anytime anyone was coming to the house I had to drive half an hour to get there. Everyone but workmen who were not going to be around him had to wash their hands for two renditions of Happy Birthday first thing through the door.

Anyone not wearing a mask was handed a mask. Anyone who wasn't wearing the mask over their nose and mouth were told to adjust it. I required all caregivers to show me their vaccination card the first time they came to work. I wore a mask every time I went out and got all my vaccinations as did my father.

I did this for two damn years.

I still wear my mask in public. I like it because it protects against airborne sickness in general and I don't have to put on makeup. I have heard about people being pestered about continuing to wear a mask. I live in a blue town in a pretty blue state. No one has ever said anything to me about my wearing a mask. And if anyone ever had the nerve to do so, they would be looking for their head for a week.

So what do you think happened? Omicron came along. His caregiver -- who showed me her vaccination card -- called in sick. I broke my ever-loving neck to get a home testing kit to test her. The test was negative. Then she called in sick two weeks later. This time I just took him right down to the city testing center and he came up positive. We got the results on a Friday. He got the Omicron monoclonal antibody treatment on Monday. He's fine as far as Omicron COVID goes.

That's my history. Now here's my opinion. NO ONE HAS ANY RIGHT AT ALL TO TELL YOU WHAT TO PUT OR NOT PUT ON YOUR FACE. OR HOW YOU CARE FOR YOURSELF AND YOUR HUSBAND. It is rude. It is childish. It is wrong.

You are the one in charge. IMHO, you do whatever it is you think you should do to protect the both of you. As for relaxing protocols, the medical center I take my dad to still requires masking. That's good enough for me. Also, we don't know if a new mutation may be around the corner.

Anyone who is giving you lip about changing what you're doing because COVID is "gone" is invited by me to take an express elevator to the Ninth Circle.

Now that I've had my rant, I wish both of you the very best.
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KPWCSC Jun 2022
Thanks, see my response to MissyE on 6/7.
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I think there are rude mask bullies on both sides of the aisle!

You have every right to demand someone wear one in your house.

You have a right to wear one in public without having to explain why.
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For some reason your post reminded me of this story

"A storm descends on a small town, and the downpour soon turns into a flood. As the waters rise, the local preacher kneels in prayer on the church porch, surrounded by water. By and by, one of the townsfolk comes up the street in a canoe.
"Better get in, Preacher. The waters are rising fast."
"No," says the preacher. "I have faith in the Lord. He will save me."
Still the waters rise. Now the preacher is up on the balcony, wringing his hands in supplication, when another guy zips up in a motorboat.
"Come on, Preacher. We need to get you out of here. The levee's gonna break any minute."
Once again, the preacher is unmoved. "I shall remain. The Lord will see me through."
After a while the levee breaks, and the flood rushes over the church until only the steeple remains above water. The preacher is up there, clinging to the cross, when a helicopter descends out of the clouds, and a state trooper calls down to him through a megaphone.
"Grab the ladder, Preacher. This is your last chance."
Once again, the preacher insists the Lord will deliver him.
And, predictably, he drowns.
A pious man, the preacher goes to heaven. After a while he gets an interview with God, and he asks the Almighty, "Lord, I had unwavering faith in you. Why didn't you deliver me from that flood?"
God shakes his head. "What did you want from me? I sent you two boats and a helicopter."
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KPWCSC Jun 2022
Yes, I had heard that story too and it comes to mind when well-meaning folks make comments that seem to be questioning the amount of faith I have or lack thereof. We each have to make the best decisions based on our experiences. Having had to advocate for my husband several times in the hospital over the years tells me I need to be protective so as to minimize the risk of another trip.
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I wear masks like you do, as my husband has PD and even with double vaccine and booster, I feel it is not the right time to stop. Going mostly to grocery store and clinics/ doctors masks are still required and all care workers coming to our house are required to wear them, if on occasion they forget, I ask right away to put them on and never experienced any objections.
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KPWCSC Jun 2022
Thanks, see my response to MissyE on 6/7.
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I now look at people wearing masks quite differently, because DH and I got Omicron three weeks ago, and now we know much more about the local rules.

The rules here following a positive home test are one week’s isolation and then one week with a mask. I now know that some of the people wearing masks have just had the bug. I don’t assume that they are afraid for themselves, I know that I am afraid of them. Health told me that 10 day’s isolation would be safer, but too difficult to enforce. So some of them may still be infectious.

There’s not much COVID about here where I am, and DH and I went to the theatre to see a Comedy show. We didn’t wear masks, the woman in the seat next to me did. We talked, as I apologised for not bringing a mask, and found that she had only just had the bug. She was a bit vague about the dates of her lockdown, and I didn’t know the rules then. Three hours sitting next to her, with everyone laughing and calling out, was about as bad a risk as I could have organised. I came down with it 2 days later, DH 3 days after me. We were a week short of the date for our vaccine second booster shot. DH’s second week rule was up yesterday lunchtime.

Make up your own minds, and certainly don’t assume that anyone wearing a mask is just hyper-anxious. The opposite may be true – they may have decided to risk YOUR health.
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sp19690 Jun 2022
If you had the vaccine and a booster and still got covid it may be time to rethink the whole vaccine effectiveness thing. But that's just me. Even the vaxx makers own studies admit efficacy is pretty much gone after a month or 60 days i forget which. But the paid for media courtesy of the recent budget which gave them millions wont tell you that. At least not in the USA. I think you are in Australia where the rules are even worse for a virus with an over 98% survival rate.
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Covid it is a non issue at this point. Especially since a monkey pox pandemic is imminent. I hear they are hoping to have a monkey pox vaccine by fall 2022 with monkey pox boosters by spring 2023. What kind of face covering does one wear to protect themselves from monkey pox? Something made out of bananas perhaps?
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Mhillwt Jun 2022
Covid is not a non issue esp fir vulnerable people .. I care for my 91 yr old mom and because of her I still wear a mask everywhere abd do feel like an outsider but my moms health is more important
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Don't explain. Do what you feel is best for your health. We always should go with our gut feelings. I think they are God trying to tell us something.

I have one daughter who took every precaution. Was ready to get her booster and contracted COVID. My other one is an RN, has people in and out of her house and visa versa. Takes no precautions, has had her shots but no COVID.

There is no rhyme or reason to this virus. They don't know why some contract it and others don't. Do what you think is best for you.
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KPWCSC Jun 2022
Thanks, see my response to MissyE on 6/7.
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If you don't wish to relax your covid precautions, that is YOUR business, and NO ONE else's. That's the only real issue here. (I haven't relaxed mine much, either)
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KPWCSC Jun 2022
Thanks, see my response to MissyE on 6/7.
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No because it's none of their business. I'm an adult. I make my own decisions regarding my health, and I respect your right to make your own decisions. This is not their problem; it's your problem because you're letting it bother you. Who is the critic? I have not met anyone who has criticized someone for either wearing a mask or not wearing one.
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KPWCSC Jun 2022
It is not so much the opinions, it is the lack of understanding they show that is so frustrating. It is not always criticism, as much as trying to educate me on how "low" the risk is. Who? It is not strangers, it is all part of the "you need to relax" advice that comes from "well meaning" family and friends with pressure to join them in restaurants, etc. It IS "their business" because they care about us and want me to relax but just can't understand that relaxing in their way is more stressful.

By the way, I keep my "mask and precautions opinions" to myself even when I might prefer others be more careful (except in my home). I just wish others didn't have to be reminded of the consequences we (especially me) have to pay if either of us get sick.

They all have relaxed and those who have gotten it have had mild cases so they don't see a problem. Their comments show they really don't comprehend my 24/7 even in the "good times" and the level of stress it would add. A simple cold can become very serious when he is already high risk for pneumonia. I was totally stressed during hospital lockouts just knowing if he had even a simple fall needing an x-ray I would not be allowed in to advocate. With Parkinson's any upset to the medication (not getting it on time or getting the wrong pain med) can take weeks to get back on even ground.

I do ignore the opinions, but if they did comprehend they would totally support me in my efforts to protect me and my husband from even a "small" risk (in their eyes) of COVID because the responsibility will be on them if something happens to me.

I will continue with precautions (right or wrong) because they lower my stress level. I just would appreciate other's respect and support especially from those close to me rather than negative comments trying to educate me. (Even on this forum).
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God bless everyone. These last few years w/COVID, lockdowns, and continued surges have been up ending for all, up ending for humanity. It is not for others to judge, criticize and/or cajole folks to doing what they may believe is safe, reasonable or "normal" as the may see it now. Normal is just a setting on one's washing machine. You have the right to make decisions and take the steps necessary to do what you believe is safe for you and yours, period.

This past weekend, a dear friend's daughter got married. There were 150 people from all over the US as well as 10 under age 5 unvaccinated kids. Many choose to attend the 1.5 hour long church service indoors, w/o masks AND then go to the full reception including a crowded inside dinner event and inside dancing until 10 pm. I choose to only go to the 1 hour outdoor cocktail part of the reception. I was double-masked AND did not eat or drink anything. I got to see folks I had not seen in 2.5 year and enjoy the celebration the WAY I was comfortable. Most folks were unmasked. NO one verbally said anything about my mask on and not attending the full event decision. AND only a very few I could see in their eyes judgment, but I do NOT CARE. As adults we get to make our own decisions and those who love and understand us, will understand and not judge. Those who do judge, criticize or cajole are the ones with the problem.

You do you want need to do to keep you and yours safe! And do not look back at those judging eyes, comments or actions. If necessary, just say a simple "You have not right to judge me", then turn and walk away from them.
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Babs2013 Jun 2022
I have been there my BIL passed away they called his funeral the covid spreader. There were only 5 of us wearing masks and one of those was a funeral person. Out of about 50 people who should up 25 got covid. So its the best thing to wear a mask no matter where you are.
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I got 2 vaccines and a booster. And I wear a mask. It is my choice to play it safe. It is too nasty a virus to take risks. So, just do what you feel is best and what makes you feel safer.
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My mother and husband landed in the hospital August 2020 because of covid and I was the only one that went to the ER because of it. We are all boostered and will continue to get the boosters when they are offered. We have continued to wear masks every place we go and that includes family functions.

Husband was in the hospital for 20 days and on oxygen at home for 72 days. Mother was in the hospital for 9 days. I was home alone when a storm hit and knocked the power off for 6 days with covid my migraines were so bad that I took my sumatriptan shots twice a day for at least 5 days. We still have long haul covid problems for example my husband doesn't have sensation on one side inside of his mouth also with that food taste bad, he has anxiety attacks with me I can't seem to do things don't have enough energy. My mind says we can but my body says no way.

We don't want it at all. So we will be masked around family we don't live with and anywhere we go outside. We order groceries online and go pickup I may go into Walmart once a month to get things with a coupon that I need or get things that I can't get online thru them. We wear surgical masks they are thicker than the ones that we had before.

I have a BIL with dementia that has had covid but we can't tell him that we just say it was a cold. We wear masks around him so that he doesn't get it again. He wears masks when he can remember. He has other health issues like diabetes, heart problems.

Prayers to all that keep this up hopefully one of these days we won't be wearing these masks. Stay safe all of you.
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I have two booster vaccinations and still wear masks, plus social distance. My condo association strongly recommends mask wearing indefinitely. I would like to see life return to pre-COVID normal, but it looks like it won't. All my social club friends are fully boosted but some still got breakthrough infections. This crazy virus is never really going away, scaring me into thinking that many of my in-person fun activities may never return. All those years I had worked and had little time to join activities waited for me to retire last September. Now that I'm free, I spend lots of time walking, local gym exercises, zooming and some volunteering. One lunch and social program stopped in March 2020 and still waits to reopen. I live alone and need to attend some events and perhaps make new friends.
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Do what you need for you! I have had 3 shots and currently sick with covid. Luckily my mom, who i exposed and then her aid exposed, has stayed negative! Caregiver has no time to be sick or worse in hospital. This is a time to be as selfish as possible and hope we can finally get past this annoyance.
I do protocol and have since the start and still it got me.
Doesn't matter what the Gen pop think- they aren't stepping in to help you or your family if someone falls ill.
Lots of hugs & SUPPORT from me :)
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You have the right to set ground rules for anyone entering your home. If they aren't jabbed with the experimental concoction, then don't let them in if that's your preference. Outside your home, it's everyone's own choice.
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BluSky1 Jun 2022
My son works in a large hostpial, after getting 3 jabs and 2 booster jabs he got the China virus TWICE.
Still feel it's personnel choice what people chose for their protection, or not.
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Thanks, see my response to MissyE on 6/7.
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3 friends have Covid. I mask when I’m around a group of people. If anyone comments, I say I do it to protect vulnerable people in my world.
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I work with the public and a large staff, and I interact with everyone as socially distanced as possible while wearing a face covering. My entire household (including me) has not had COVID and we are doing everything we can to prevent COVID from entering our bodies.

Me and my wife went to Disneyland a month ago, and we were part of a small group of folks that were wearing face coverings. We asked to be seated on the front of every Rollercoaster and ride, so it created a longer wait time for us but we knew we were safer at the front instead of having all of the screaming folks saliva droplets hitting us in the face. As a result of our precautions, we did not catch COVID after being in a super-packed theme park all day.

Did people look at us like we were aliens, or give us 'the smirk' because they saw us with face coverings? YES, many of them did, but me and my wife didn't care because we are protecting ourselves and an elderly sick mother waiting at our home. The 24-hour caregiver we paid to stay with mom had to wear a face covering around mom, wash her hands for 20-seconds, and wipe down her phone and other touched surfaces with alcohol wipes.

We also use curbside pick-up for groceries (except for picking produce and meats).

So I get it!

Protect your household by requiring face coverings, shoe coverings, hand washings, sanitizing wipes, etc.

Do what you feel is necessary to protect your household!
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People who are at high risk of covid complications or who live with such people must take extra precautions when attending indoor or even crowded outdoor events. It may be wise to avoid crowded events, especially if you are in an area with high transmission. I am quoting the health officials for my county, which does have high transmission. Their other advice is to keep up to date on vaccinations. The new covid variants are very contagious, and while they may not be as lethal as previous variants, they can still cause serious illness and death for high-risk people. Use your own judgement. There are few mandates now, but that doesn't mean that everyone can throw caution to the wind. It's your life and your husband's life. Do what you think is best.
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