In January I began to the process to get guardianship of my mom, but her mental health was in a rapid decline, and I didn't think it was right to continue to purse that. I decided to drop that so she would not have to go to court (which she insisted on if I filed). Now that mom is being well medicated for her mental issues she wants to make some major life changes. She does not have the financial assets or health (loosing her eyesight and hearing, wheelchair bound, dependent on mental health meds which she would refuse at home) to follow such a path. Has anyone petitioned the government for the court to choose someone outside the family to have guardianship and how did that go? I'm afraid mom might end up in a really poorly run facility, and I won't have any say in that. Right now she is in a nice one that she can afford for at least six more months before we need to help her financially. My plan is to sell her property (she signed over rights to me to do that), and that will provide for her for the rest of her life at the current facility plus pay her medical bills. With her insistence that she wants a major life change (new home, purchasing property, etc. which she cannot afford), I'm wondering if the state taking guardianship is our only choice, but I don't know. She told me today she is running away and taking control of her own life once again. She is still having hallucinations and delusions even with the meds, but they are better. She also has NPD.
Who currently is POA and paying her bills? It's important to know who is acting for her now, because it quite certainly is not her.
I would discuss your concerns with social workers where you mother is currently, and with the administration there.
You are correct that if the courts appoint a Fiduciary you will not have a say in anything. That person will decide best how, when and where to make the money last best for the person. On the other hand, guardianship is a difficult job, and one not easily got out of, so in a sense it makes a good deal of common sense to stay out of it if you aren't up to a hard job.
Can you clarify what you mean by, "My plan is to sell her property (she signed over rights to me to do that)..."
Does this mean you are her financial PoA? What exactly did she sign? She didn't transfer the property to you, did she?
If you are her FPoA and you've done what the document requires in order for your authority to be active, then you can sell her property without her agreement, as long as it's going to pay for her care. Have you done the calculations to see how long it will last at that facility? You wrote in your profile that she's currently in AL, which is less expensive than MC. If she requires LTC, this is what Medicaid will pay for is she is medically assessed as needing it. So her FPoA needs to be very careful how they manager her money.
You don't need to listen to anything she says or asks you to do, especially since you know she has mental illness and dementia. Literally ignore it, she is having delusions so don't spend any energy acknowledging them. She can insist on a "major life change" at 80 all she wants: it ain't gonna happen unless you enable it. Please don't.
Teepa Snow has some excellent videos on YouTube on how to interact with people with dementia for more peaceful and productive conversations. I learned a lot from her.