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Tipping is prohibited, but residents are asked to contribute $1,095 each Christmas to be distributed to non-management employees.

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Reply to JoAnn29
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After my mother died, I tried to give a worker in Housekeeping $10 because she boxed up and brought my mother's personal effects out to the curb so I could load them up to bring home. She was so nice. She told me she could not accept it. I felt bad because it really was not in her job description to do this for me. I will do something nice in December if she's still there.
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PeggySue2020 Jul 15, 2024
My man had a couple 20s slipped into his rear pocket.Sweet old lady was like, “oh, your pocket is inside out” and basically felt up his rear! Not intentionally, but!
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Unacceptable.
Unethical.
Asking seniors who are already paying massive amounts of money for care.
Greedy corporations wanting bigger profits for shareholders as usual.
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Reply to Evamar
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Amen, who ever came up with idea is just an "ingrate".
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Reply to Ronnyj
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My dh’s coworkers wife works at a chain facility without a bonus program while she waits for a caregiving position to open up at his even though their rate is about the same. Getting a two week bonus is a big reason his facility can hire and retain people both at full staff and with incentive to go beyond, whereas the chain facility doubles its caregivers as kitchen staff.
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Reply to PeggySue2020
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In my dad’s facility, at Christmas, they put out a request to add a tip into a pool that would be divided equally among the staff who do all the jobs to keep the facility and residents safe and healthy. Tips and gifts to individuals are not allowed, for the same reasons that one of the commenters listed. I was very happy to have the opportunity to contribute. But I also go out of my way to thank people in the facility for taking care of my dad, whether it’s kitchen, housekeeping, nursing or aides. I have made sure to learn their names and touch bases often. Kindness and gratitude go a long way.
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Reply to nelsonca
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If money is no object, than search your conscience and figure out if staff of any kind should be given a Christmas bonus.
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Reply to Ronnyj
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If it's prohibited, then it's a no Brainerd. Ignore the suggestion, if that doesn't work . Contact the authorities or company headquarters. 🤔
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Reply to Ronnyj
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DH’s coworkers wife works as a cg at a facility with no voluntary bonus program. The pay rate is nearly the same, but there weren’t any openings at dh’s ccrc as the caregivers stay for the bonus. And as they and all the other hourlies know that the extra paycheck is from the residents, the workers are further invented to go above and beyond. Everyone feels appreciated.
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Reply to PeggySue2020
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Asking for tips in a nursing home where they are prohibited may be inappropriate and unethical. This may cause dissatisfaction among residents and violate the established rules of the institution. Instead, if you want to express your gratitude to staff, you may want to consider other means, such as writing thank you notes or gifts that are in keeping with facility policies.
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Reply to RigoboMaldo
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The responsibility is on management for making sure employees are paid enough and receive recognition for their work. If management wants to suggest an optional tip and handle it as a pool, fine. It should never be mandatory. The “no individual tipping “ rules are there for two reasons. First- it keeps the employees from being jealous of each other. One may want to give an extra attentive employee a tip or gift, but that doesn’t recognize all that goes on behind the scenes by the unseen employees. Also, we families and residents don’t always see the big picture- maybe one employee is not as good at forcing a smile while they quietly pick up the slack or mistakes of another more seemingly popular employee. Second, some residents truly cannot contribute extra cash and some are more unpleasant to take care of for whatever reason. Management also doesn’t want to create a resident “teachers pet” situation where the resident who tips or is more pleasant gets more attention. Management can’t afford to have even the appearance of favoritism in either direction- from resident to employee or vice versa. This would not make for a good work or living environment.
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Reply to HonorAble
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Peggy Sue’s problem here seems to be fundamentally that the workers are underpaid. That’s probably true, but also true for a lot of other workers.

I keep hearing from a woman who has just left her husband and is complaining bitterly that her work as a teacher’s aide isn’t paid enough to meet her needs/wants. She is a reasonably intelligent woman who chose to study art and craft after school, then travel around the world for years, then be supported by her husband whose business was very profitable pre-covid. When their two girls were in their teens she chose to do a minimal Certificate 3 to qualify as a teacher’s aide, 'for interest'. She never set herself up to earn a better salary. The company is now in liquidation, he’s about to go bankrupt, she left when the money ran out, he is crying on us about the financial pressure from her, and she is complaining to anyone who will listen.

She’s another one who chose a job which is underpaid – there’s a lot of it about. I know that many people don't have so many choices, but I'm a bit over-exposed to the problem of low paid jobs at the moment.
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PeggySue2020 Apr 20, 2024
First, schools regularly hold donation drives, and in both cases, it’s voluntary.
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It sounds like a lot.
BUT playing devils advocate here
I am sure the staff that is in contact with residents do get "TIPs" a holiday card with cash in it, or a gift card. Even the boxes of candy, fruit, cakes, cookies and all the rest count as a TIP.
The people that you never see, the one shoveling the walk, the one that does the laundry, cleans, does dishes, cooks the meal...these are the ones that get nothing.
What you are being asked for is about $3.00 a day.
I suppose if you add up the number of residents and IF each contributes the requested amount it is a lot of money. But how many staff members are there?
I suppose I would wonder if the money will be distributed evenly or will Nurses get more, CNA's a bit less and the poor guy getting up at 4am on a cold winter morning gets the least.

If it is financially doable contribute the amount asked for if it would mean a bit of a hardship contribute what you can.
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PeggySue2020 Apr 18, 2024
The way it works at dh’s ccrc is by seniority and full time status as opposed to job title or annual salary. The servers, the rest of kitchen, the caregivers, activities people, housekeeping, janitorial, maintenance, front desk, drivers get paid the same bonus reflecting how many hours they put in.
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‘The last time I tipped’ was the last time I was in Europe 40 years ago. In Oz it’s not normally the custom to tip. It depends on the customs of where you are. The issue here is NOT what you would tip in a restaurant, but whether it’s the custom to tip in an Aged Care Facility. It certainly wasn’t in my MIL’s in Oz. Perhaps a pool for all the employees is a good idea (some are more ‘visible’, while the invisible behind-the-scenes people would get nothing). But it shouldn’t be compulsory or excessive, PeggySue. ‘Bonuses’ are the employer’s responsibility, ‘tips’ are voluntary.
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Reply to MargaretMcKen
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No one stays because some family brings cookies for the break room whereas they do for bonuses. Either the facility would have to bill everyone involuntarily or they cut services.

Gone would be the kitchen staff including servers that make sure their filet mignonette is delivered just like a restaurant. Gone would be excursions and hand delivery of what you ordered. You’ll have to get it yourself.
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NeedHelpWithMom Apr 18, 2024
I understand that no one wants cookies. Homemade cookies won’t help pay the bills.

Still, the employer should pay their workers a fair wage. They shouldn’t pressure residents to pay. Residents are being charged a lot of money to live there.

They should just raise the price of their fee. I think it leaves a bad taste in people’s mouths when asked to contribute a large amount all at once.
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I personally do not agree with residents being asked to contribute a specific amount. It feel strongly that the contribution amount should be up to the resident. When I wanted to gift caregivers at a nursing home, I was encouraged by management to give a gift card - which I did. Then, the $1,095 can be retained in your pocket. That is a lot of money, after all.
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Reply to TouchMatters
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GooGoo: That is unacceptable and also an odd amount. Something is amiss.
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Reply to Llamalover47
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"Required" tipping, gratuities, extra money beyond the monthly rent, especially when put into a pool of money, doesn't work out for anyone except management.

1. It is counted as a bonus in the employees w-2, hence it is now taxable income to each of the employees
2. It is a way of getting more money from the residents without necessarily disclosing the increased cost to future residents.
3. They cannot bill Medicare or any agency for this money, hence it is "out-of-pocket" from those who choose to contribute.
4. Since it is put into a pool with everyone else, those who contribute do not get the recognition they should get.
5. To be fair, if it is Christmas money, everyone gets the money, regardless of the kind of job they do. In addition, there probably are some guidelines as to who will get them (e.g. have to have been employed for one month and working on day x to qualify)
6. Absolutely no guarantees that it will be used as Christmas money. It could be kept in a pool and used for birthday parties, individual recognition, etc.

Since the request sounds optional, tell them no.

...and...I always bring in goodies about once a quarter for all the floor staff to share. One time, I brought in light lunch, unannounced. Bakery items, cookies, boxes of candy, etc are good too. That way, they know who brought it in and it occurs throughout the year, rather than a single occurrence.

In my city, free food at the workplace, is always appreciated.
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PeggySue2020 Apr 17, 2024
If the workers get nice lovey cards and a fruit arrangement from customers when last year they got a one or two week bonus, they’ll just quit. Like I said, it’s either that these residents pay their tip collectively and anonymously once a year or not. Or every resident now faces a fee increase and/or services decline because everyone’s moved on to hotels.
,
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The amount of money my DH's mom paid for her living expenses was $12,000 a month. She didn't live long there (8 days) but had the facility come to the family with hands outstretched for another $1100--there would have been fireworks.

You can call that what you want, but it's tipping.
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Reply to Midkid58
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No. Gratuity is not appropriate to ask for at a senior living establishment or any other place that is a person's home. Every person living at the senior establishment you mention pays for whatever services they get which are included in their monthly rent.

When you live in a rent, do you think you owe gratuity to the landlord if he cuts the lawn of the property he owns? How about if he sends someone else to do it? No, you would not pay a separate for the landlord to do his job which is to maintain his rental property.
Same goes for the people living in a senior residence.

Gratuity and tipping are one in the same. The management of the senior residence just wants to control how much is given and to who.

Employees get wages for the work they do. The residents of the senior residence don't hire and pay these workers. The management does. So let the management give them their holiday gratuity by taking it out of the rent they collect from the residents. Not ask the residents to write them a check.
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Reply to BurntCaregiver
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TouchMatters Apr 18, 2024
No, many residential elder communities do not provide all the services needed. Many many residents need - and rely on - personal caregivers / care providers for various needs. Absolutely not all services are included in their monthly rent. This may apply to where you work or establishment you know personally. It certainly isn't true for most residential elder communities.
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That is a Lot of Money . I could see $30 .
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TouchMatters Apr 18, 2024
Yes. Me, too. It really depends on the facility. Some monthly rents are $10,000-$15,000. Sure - then they can contribute $1,000 once a year. But should they be ASKED to contribute that much? No. Although many elders residing in senior housing are paying a lot less rent than that ... and others are in subsidized housing unit (HUD) It is all over the map. The key is: a resident doesn't have to contribute any specific amount and they should not feel pressured into doing so.
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Curious before I form an opinion. What kind of senior living facilty are we talking about? Independent (with no or only social worker services) Assisted living, Memory Care, Personal Care, CCRC?

In my rather old fashioned and somewhat British mindset... a gratuity is a "gift" from someone (an individual or a group) who has received excellent service/care. A bonus is something that is given to a staff member by their employer for an outstanding performance during a specific time period.
So if the facility has a specific amount they are asking for and plan to divide the amount received and give it to the entire staff... that is a bonus because it is going to the entire staff, which means they are shirking their duty. It is the owner/corporations job to provide bonuses for the staff. As a resident, I may not even know the entire staff. I might know 5-6 and want to give them a memento at a special holiday but it might not add up to $1k. Everyone in senior living is not wealthy and depending on the situation some are on Medicaid; if they can come up with $1k, they will have some explaining to do to the Medicaid office.
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BurntCaregiver Apr 17, 2024
I think exactly the same way, geddyupgo. Rewarding excellent service with a bonus is fine. Residents giving gifts to employees who provided outstanding service is fine too.

No management should expect the residents to just write a check because they don't want to part with any of the profit to reward good employees.

When it was the holidays season, I put it to the vote with our employees. There was a certain amount set aside and this could either be divided equally among them, or could be used to throw an excellent holiday party. The party votes won because the cash amount would not have been as much.
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It’s rude and unethical for the nursing facility to ask the residents to contribute over $1,000 for employees’ bonuses. The bonuses should be the employer’s responsibility. It’s up to the residents if they want to contribute, but to be told the amount to contribute is insulting.
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Reply to Dupedwife
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PeggySue2020 Apr 16, 2024
The residents at dh’s work donate on average enough for each full timer with a year to get about 2300 before taxes. If they donated half of that probably most of the hourly workers would quit, starting with the servers who get paid the same as Burger King to work there. Then there are the housekeepers who could work at a hotel and never see a guest during their stay,as a housekeepers job now is cleaning up after they leave. The janitors who have to deliver everyone’s individual delivery from Amazon to pizza to every apartment, which again hotels don’t do.

Having the residents pitch in enough for basically two weeks of pay is huge enough so that most of them stay. The only options other than this is to raise everyone’s rates or cut services.
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Asking is fine as long as it doesn't become mandatory to participate.
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TouchMatters Apr 18, 2024
It is a pressure/d situation. Flyers all over the place asking ... It cannot be-come mandatory, legally. How could they do that?
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A qratuity is vountary IMO. They cannot tell you what to give. Give what you want.
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Reply to JoAnn29
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When was the last time you tipped 3 bucks for even one service? Or even 7? That 7 bucks in dh’s ccrc ensures the residents can enjoy a four star server experience like in a nice restaurant where dinner tips are usually 20 per table. Let alone the housemen who make sure their Amazon or Walmart purchase is delivered personally by them themselves. How about the drivers, the housekeepers?
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NeedHelpWithMom Apr 16, 2024
Peggy,

I am a generous tipper at restaurants, my hairstylist, bartenders, food delivery drivers, etc. These additional tips don’t add up to $1000 all at once.

Paying a thousand dollars in one lump sum to a facility may be more than most people can comfortably afford to pay.

The residents in a facility are paying for a place to live that has the services provided for their needs.

Just like residents in a condo or apartment has amenities provided for them. People don’t tip their pool attendants or workers at the gym.

I do believe in remembering special people during the holidays. I think it should be optional though.

I am wondering if the facility should back off from pressuring people to pay over a thousand dollars and allow people to tip what they can afford.

Some residents who are wealthy may even tip much more than $1000 dollars if there isn’t a set amount in place.
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While it’s voluntary I find it insulting to be asked to I pay bonuses. That is the responsibility of the employer. Period. I pay $8500 a month for my mother’s care in an AL facility and while some staff are better than others, it’s the responsibility of the employer to reward their staff. If we follow this “logic” should we be expected to pay bonuses for staff at our doctor’s and dentist’s offices or maybe lawyers and tax accountants?
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Reply to RLWG54
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Dupedwife Apr 16, 2024
I agree with you that it’s an insult to be asked to pay bonuses. That’s the responsibility of the employer to pay bonuses to its employees.
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? 1,000 ????
Goodness, that must be one rich population.

Here's how they work this.
They do frown upon individuals being individually recognized. It often causes unrest with employees and jealousy, accusation.
So once a year they gather a fund and then however they choose to divide it up, that's what they do, or throw a party, or whatever.

I think that this is way too much money to be honest. I would completely ignore it.
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Reply to AlvaDeer
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That is completely voluntary, and the resident does not have to do it.
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TouchMatters Apr 18, 2024
True. It is the 'pressure' factor. Even asking is rude. It should be voluntary without notices posted all over the building asking.
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If this is optional and you cannot afford to pay the additional money, can’t you tell them that you won’t be paying that amount?

Shouldn’t the money that you already pay be enough? Why can’t they pay for the employee bonuses themselves? Ask them why they expect you to pay for their bonuses. See what they tell you.
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