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She lives at a facility in memory care. She knows everyone, we are just afraid she might want to try to leave with someone. She knows everyone and can ambulate quite well. We prefer her to use a walker and most of the time, she does. On numerous occasions I have witnessed the same depend on her for several days (2-5)... I now have them numbered with the date to prove she has not been changed. I only ask that she be changed ONCE a day... just like us... fresh underwear daily. The facility can't seem to do this simple task. They use the excuse that because they have male techs, she refuses.... guess she supposably also refused to change for the female CMA.... They stayed that they are not allowed to force her. Which, I NEVER have had to force her, I just hang the new depend on her walker and tell her that it's time to change her depend and it's hanging on her walker. SHE does everything herself - she must needs to be coaxed/reminded to change the depend. What can family do next.... she is going to get another UTI of this behavior continues. Thanks so your attention to this matter.....

So you asked one question in your headline but then lead with: "She lives at a facility in memory care. She knows everyone, we are just afraid she might want to try to leave with someone."

This is a separate problem. How long has she been in MC? MCs are locked down and ought to have security measures in place just for these types of occurrences. How can she leave with "someone" who isn't an authorized person? If this is a concern then you also will need to talk to admins about why you think she may get out.
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Reply to Geaton777
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Its the Memory Care's JOB to change her brief, or have MIL change her brief, several times per day or when it's wet or soiled. Period. Call a care conference with admin and tell them they are in violation of health code rules and you'll move MIL out of there after reporting them to the State if things don't change immediately.

A caregiver can change a resident who's kicking and screaming, if need be. I've witnessed it myself more than once. Otherwise, bad diaper rashes will ensue and then they've got another whole mess to worry about.
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Reply to lealonnie1
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Sounds like you may have to change her Depends yourself until you can get things worked out with the facility. Apparently your MIL is able to use the bathroom herself, and wears Depends just in case she has an accident right, so I'm guessing that when she's being checked the Depend is perhaps still dry, so no further action is required.
However I know in memory care that folks diapers are supposed to be checked/changed every 2 hours, so it may be time to have a sit down conversation with the powers that be at her facility, to see what if anything can be done to make sure that she's being changed on a more regular basis.
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Reply to funkygrandma59
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